Compilation of comments

 More recent comments from Reddit:

-----Subtle definitions of terms, like "chivalry" and "gentleman's club"

A question in another sub reminded me of a few terms that felt contradictory to me, as I was growing up. I was born in 1965, and my experiences with these terms were informed by books, religious indoctrination, TV shows and movies, as well as the way I watched society use these terms. Many of these terms have fallen out of common usage, but one term, chivalry, does show up occasionally, in a few conversations I have seen recently. 

I grew up loving the TV show, Mash. I also enjoyed the original movie, when I first saw it as a teenager. I received the full box set of episodes, specials, original movie, and interviews, as a birthday gift around 25 years ago. My kids and I watched reruns of this show as they were growing up.  

At some point during the last decade, watching reruns of this show became a real lesson for me, in how my peers and I grew up absorbing so many toxic ideas surrounding misogyny and masculinity. The way patriarchy was a built in systemic and accepted normality for me became much clearer, as I realized what my generation had once watched without batting an eye. The diminishment of rape and sexual harassment into running jokes, and the way the most respected men in the camp were the ones who could masterfully use coercion in a "gentlemanly" manner, in order to get laid, stand out now, in so many of the episodes. For me, it is disturbing to remember how I could not see any of this, as I watched this show religiously while in my teens. (I do not think any sections of the show should be removed or banned. It does paint an honest picture of life in our society, during the 1950s war era, and again later, when the movie and series were created.)

I do remember being confused by one particular scene, while I was still a teen. That scene didn't sit right with me. Hawkeye and Margaret were with Klinger at an aid station, and after a crazy day, they are trying to get some sleep. Margaret is concerned about nearby enemy activity. Hawkeye shares his blanket with her and scoots closer. Then he tells Margaret, "I want you to know, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been replaced by exhaustion." I remember wondering why he would equate "chivalry" with being awake enough to turn that moment into sexual activity. Why did it seem like he was saying that he couldn't be chivalrous enough to fuck her, because he was too tired? It sometimes felt like "chivalry" simply meant a man being more subtly coercive at getting sex, in order to not appear rapey. It was like a man who could be better at manipulating a women into sex, a man more well-versed in coercion, was somehow a more decent, chivalrous man. The kind of man who chose to frequent "gentleman's club," instead of simply paying for sex on the street. Which brings me to the 2nd term that was also troubling to me, as a teen. Was discretion and wealth the only character differences between all of the men who sexualized and objectified women? Was a man sipping cognac, smoking cigars with other men as they enjoyed women being objectified in an opulent setting, really more decent than a man getting a lap dance in a cheap strip club? 

I am in no way asking all of this to get into the subject of sex-work. I am just looking back at how I instinctively viewed certain terms as definitions that to me, seemed to be saying that men sexualized and objectified women, but decent men did it with better coercion techniques, and more discretion.-----

-----Sexualized children do not understand what adult predators are doing, the ways adult predators lie to them and manipulate them. Grooming is not something any sexualized child understands. Adult predators are the ones who tell these youth that they are finding their own sexuality, but that is not true, when older predators are exploiting these sexualized children.

Children who are not sexualized as toddlers/preteens, tend to search for their natural sexuality through peer interactions. That is natural. As in how nature intended. Puberty happens to most children roughly around the same age, and the slowing of the sexual organs also happens at roughly the same age. Humans are meant to be naturally experiencing sexuality with their peers. But in our patriarchy, it is afab children who are sexualized as early as toddlerhood, by everything marketed to them. Not amab children. And in our patriarchy, medicaid/medicare provides medical methods for older males to bypass the natural progression of their own physiology. Birth control may start to be less available for child-bearing humans, soon, but no way will the availability of ED medications ever be stopped. Convicted sexual predators can often get medicaid/medicare to cover the cost of such prescriptions. The natural progression of how male fertility is meant to work is seen as a dysfunction. Meanwhile, a pregnant person who medically needs an abortion will sometimes go thru hell trying to get actually necessary medical care.  

This is how our patriarchy works. Afab children are sexualized/objectified before they can read, then told they are making strong feminist choices by having their natural sexuality be totally manipulated by old predators. Nothing about this empowers anyone but sexual predators.-----

-----There is something much deeper happening, when it comes to the way afab children are being treated, in our society. It is why teen girls are going thru what they go thru.  

The documentary Pretty Baby addresses how this started, as a reaction to the first waves of feminism. It has gotten so much worse. While targeting youth for things like alcohol and tobacco have received pushback, the sexualization and objectification of afab children from toddlerhood on has not received any pushback. Instead, it has exponentially grown.  

We do not tell a 13 yr-old who consumes alcohol that if they know how to make a complicated mixed drink, this means they are mature enough to be given alcohol by adults. We criminally charge adults who provide youth with alcohol. We do not say a child with a drinking problem is making mature choices and is developing self-agency bcuz they drink a lot. Joe Camel was retired, and candy cigarettes are no longer on the shelves of most stores. E-cigarettes had to discontinue flavors enticing children, because we know a child who smokes/vapes is not making mature choices from a place of self-agency. But we have allowed afab children to be sexualized and objectified younger and younger, we allow adult men to interact with these sexualized children younger and younger, and as these girls are showing the symptoms of being sexualized and objectified, we blame these girls by telling them they are making powerful mature feminist choices, we ascribe self-agency to these underage girls. And who is benefitting? The adult men who are grooming these girls and sexually exploiting them for whatever they want are the only ones who benefit. Our teen girls are self-harming and killing themselves at higher rates than ever. We are allowing the destruction of our afab children. This is not their fault at all. But adult men say these afab children are mature, and are exercising self agency. They groom these girls to blame themselves with those very words.

As someone who experienced CSA starting at 2, and was trafficked by my hooker stepmother to her clients and for CP, I was blamed for all of the old men who re-exploited me, starting with my sda school principal when I was 13. It has horrified me to see how that outright slut-blame I received has been manipulated into some sort of mature feminist decision these sexualized children are making. It is blame, wrapped up in a bs bow. These girls are ending up with mental health issues, slicing themselves up, and killing themselves. And the predators just move on to the next girls.  

It makes me feel physically ill, to watch this happen to children.

Teen girls can have no idea what their natural sexuality might have been, when they are sexualized as small children. Natural exploration of sexuality for afab children is not happening. What 14 yr-old girls are experiencing now is not their choice at all. But they truly believe it is. And it is harming larger numbers of them than ever.-----

-----These trauma responses are the symptoms of childhood sexualization. It can take a long time to fully understand where these symptoms are coming from. CSA creates internal beliefs and damage that leave us suffering for a long time.  

For me, it took me learning to view my younger self as the child I had actually been, and no longer seeing my young self as some"bad, hypersexual child," like everyone always told me I was. I did not "cause" any old predator to harm me. Lifting all blame off my child self, and placing it on the predators who first harmed me, started to make me want to protect myself, because I saw myself as worthy of protection. This, in turn, made me learn to see predators for exactly who they are choosing to be. Where I once was easily manipulated and re-exploited by such predators, I can now spot them, and bcuz I now understand what they are truly capable of, and how they are harming damaged young survivors who are not at fault, I immediately set boundaries with them. The reward of finally being capable of keeping myself safe is so much better than anything I once believed I was getting, when I was still caught in the awful cycle of being re-exploited by manipulative old predators. It took me a long time, but I am in such a better place, now.  

I hope you find whatever healing will help you keep yourself safer, and give yourself the protection and care nobody else gave you when you were younger. You deserve to be safe, and to find healing.-----

-----For me, the freedom to naturally grow into our own individual sexuality would be ideal. We should all have such freedom. But I do run into a big red flag, when I see afab children being sexualized from toddlerhood on, who are interacting with adult men on apps as preteens/teens, then being told they are making strong feminist choices when they are being groomed and lied to and sexually exploited by these older predators. Children are not wiser because they are sexualized younger. These predators are the same sick misogynists who have been sexually exploiting afab children forever.  

Predators are finding ways to twist feminism into words that these youth can't possibly grasp. There is nothing natural or healthy about old men fucking kids. If we don't allow patriarchal ideas to warp feminist language into words those same predators use to have earlier access to afab children, then children will be able to discover what they truly want for themselves as they mature. If we let all kids naturally grow into their own sexuality instead of having it marketed to half of them before they even start school, then all kids have a better chance to discover their own preferences and experiences. Telling a sexualized afab child that them being groomed by an old sexual predator is a strong feminist choice, telling them they have the wisdom and agency to "choose" to be sexually exploited by a sexual predator, is another form of victim blaming. The only people who are gaining anything from all of this are old sexual predators. The same men who have been controlling patriarchies for eons.-----

-----I do not agree with the ideas I have read about Louis Perry's views. But I have noticed a trend where, in advocating for equality in the way adults are choosing to express their own sexuality, there are some predators twisting that freedom to include their sexual exploitation of afab children.  

I am a never married, never gonna be married, sexually active female, who chooses to take part in intimate interactions with other non-partnered peers of all genders. I have involuntarily worn that damn scarlet letter my whole adult life, and experienced the slut-shaming that comes with it. I do not believe in shaming any consenting adults for anything they are choosing to do with other consenting adults. But I take absolute exception to the CSA/CP/trafficking I experienced as a child, and the resulting sexual re-exploitation I continuously experienced from 13 on, as somehow being a part of my own stong, feminist decision making. That is simply twisting words to continue blaming sexualized afab children for what adult predators are doing to them because of the symptoms sexualized children go thru as teens.

I hope I explained this better. It has been disturbing to watch more children be sexually exploited and re-exploited like I was, and see how blame is now being twisted into some sort of strong feminist choice these kids are making. That is something I believe needs to be made clear whenever we are discussing sexual equality.-----

-----I have not spent time delving deeply into her beliefs, but I feel my internal temp rise, too, whenever I hear anything that will increase the shaming of women for exercising sexual freedom.-----

-----The re-exploitation of survivors is a common, ignored, and accepted practice in our society. Adult predators see every child experiencing CSA as a potential future victim of their own perverse desires. They know these children are now going to be mentally compromised, which makes them easier to re-exploit and blame. They know these survivors have damaged abilities to set boundaries. They know that a harmed CSA survivor will be sent into the "flight or fright or freeze" state of mind whenever they feel threatened again. That means the predator can enjoy feeling like they are actually physically assaulting such a child, because the threat of being put thru something that survivor already had to go thru, causes the survivor's mind to react as if they are really experiencing CSA again. Some of these predators take it a step further, and start off by acting compassionate toward the survivor, offering to help the survivor, because they know these children need support and help to recover. These grooming predators do all of this in order to con the survivor into trusting them, so the predator can sexually re-exploit that survivor again. 

I believe part of the reason society does not do more to stop CSA/CP/trafficking, is because a significant portion of society sees such moments of abuse as the very activities that create youth who are easier to re-exploit, and then blame. Until society calls out such re-exploiting predators, and blames them for what they do to survivors instead of blaming the survivors, I don't believe the crimes encompassing CSA will ever lessen. These crimes have increased exponentially in the last few decades, and I believe that until these CSA crimes are no longer viewed as a sick aphrodisiac by such a large percentage of society, there will never be a real endeavor to see the eradication of CSA.

I am so sorry you were subjected to such sick re-exploitation, OP. The way your history has created mental and emotional symptoms that are harmful and painful for you, should never be viewed by anyone as an effed up chance to harm you even more. I'm glad you shut off DM's. No one online should be trying to communicate privately with you about any of this.

Your words here are an example of the strength you are developing. You are speaking up for yourself, and working to keep yourself safe. I hope you continue doing this for yourself, as you work toward healing.

I wish you continued healing and growth and safety in the future.-----

-----Any of the childhood abuses that destroy our ability to set, or even sense when we need, boundaries, leave us vulnerable to exploitation by predators. Such abuses keep us from developing a natural sense of ourselves, a sense that we each deserve to have nurtured in us as we grow up.

I am so sorry you went thru being harmed by just such a predator 💔❤️‍🩹-----

-----Aileen Wuornos was so harmed by re-exploitation, it was heartbreaking. Even a christian woman who said she was trying to help Aileen, after Aileen had been incarcerated, tried to turn that "helper" relationship with Aileen into something sexual. Aileen must have viewed her life as one sexual predator after another, just wanting to re-exploit her over and over. No one ever saw her as a human who deserved anything else. No wonder she wanted to stop legally fighting to delay her execution. She is an extreme example of society never once noticing what predators did to her from toddlerhood on. Society still compares her to other serial killers. I do not see her as a Gacy or Dahmer. Once she first experienced CSA, she was constantly re-exploited sexually. It completely destroyed her to be sexually re-exploited by everyone her whole life 💔-----

-----OP, anyone who can't say what they want to say to you right here, in front of everyone, don't trust them. You can shut off message and chat options. I highly recommend doing that. Just as irl, there are lots of predators here who troll SA subs for their effed up perversions. But decent people are here, too, and they won't be sending DM's. Because they understand exactly why you posted this 💔 

I am so sorry you have had to deal with these jerks.------

Angel Wings

A repost of my favorite Holiday song, and the photo I think of whenever I listen to it:

My kids and I created our own Christmas traditions, and stayed home almost every year to enjoy them together as they grew up. But, back in '98, my mom and sister took my kids on one of their favorite trips, to Disneyland for Christmas break. Right before they drove off in my mom's car to head for the airport, my 8-yr-old daughter dropped back in the snow, to make me a snow angel, so I wouldn't miss her too much over Christmas. This is the photo I took of her angel.

A few years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to Tom Prasada-Rao music. The first time I heard "Angel Wings," it became my favorite holiday song. It also made me think of my daughter's snow angel from the Disney Trip.

I wish a blessed holiday season to all my friends and family.

Tom Prasado-Rao, Angel Wings

Criminal double standard

 If a teen says they feel empowered and good when they are using blues or tranq, do we say that drug dealers should have access to that kid?  No.  We arrest dealers, especially around schools and playgrounds, because what those dealers are doing is harmful and illegal.  If a teen says they feel empowered and good when they are drunk, do we allow this teen to be served alcohol in a bar?  No.  Why are we letting sexual predators get away with sexually exploiting afab children?  There is no excuse for this double standard.  Youth have no way of understanding any of this.  They have not developed the wisdom or agency to understand who is exploiting them and who isn't.  No matter what some predator has groomed them into believing, we do not allow children to decide who is safe for children.  When predator clergy are caught molesting children, we prosecute those predators.  We don't let the groomed children tell us that clergy person is safe.  Children being sexually exploited cannot understand what predatory adults are actually doing to them.  We don't let sexualized children write the laws regarding sexual predators. 

When I was a young teen, I asked adult strangers to buy alcohol for me.  Those who did buy me alcohol were breaking the law.  

I believed my sda school principal was a safe man when I was a child.  I trusted his lies.  I had no idea what he was doing to sexualized kids like me.  He was a sexual predator who was breaking the law.

Adults with criminal intent toward our young afab children should never be given access to these youth.  For any reason.  

Reddit subjects

 The subjects of slut/kink shaming, sex workers, and the way older predators are manipulating the youth they are re-exploiting to speak in defense of these sexual predators, come up a lot on Reddit.   I am putting two of my responses here. These responses address how I view these important issues, and I have received a few emails from blog readers asking me about these issues:

-----When children are allowed to grow into their own sexuality free from adult sexual predator interference, or societal sexualization and objectification inappropriately being forced on them, whatever those children may grow up to consensually take part in will be, imo, a healthy expression of whatever they find fulfilling. Like anything else, there's a wide spectrum of activities they may discover they enjoy engaging in.

In our current patriarchal society that starts sexualizing afab children early and erroneously misplaces agency and wisdom onto them, and where CSA and trafficking happens at a horrendous rate, accepting the porn and sex worker industries without identifying the way so many members are survivors who are being re-exploited and harmed, is not conducive to a safe and healthy environment for those workers. My family has a long history of farm-working. This is a necessary and rewarding occupation. We don't ban farms because of the horrible exploitation that can happen, and has historically happened, in this industry. We find ways to keep exploitation from happening.-----

-----I experienced CSA from about 2, onward, and my stepmother was a sex-worker who trafficked me to clients and used myself and other children to create CP, starting when I was 5 until I was around 9. This had a profound influence on my whole life. Things I was involved in, and the ways I accepted re-exploitation and took on all of the blame for the first 2 decades of my life was not healthy at all. That is why it is important to me to never allow my childhood or teen years to be seen as a legit part of how people can safely grow up to develop self-agency and have a healthy or safe sex life.

For the past years, I have finally learned to set my own boundaries, to keep myself much safer, and to not feel shame for the ways I enjoy participating in intimate activities. Some of those activities are currently defined as kink. 

I am a consensual participant with other consensual, non-partnered peers, and I am quite content with my sex life as it is now. But I am absolutely averse to the path that brought me here. And I am averse to anyone saying that CSA and CP and trafficking made me what I am, and that it was my own self-agency to start participating in kink early, and that sexual re-exploitation of survivors is a form of "healing." This kind of narrative excuses sexual predators , and perpetuates the abuse and re-exploitation that continues to happen at alarming rates to children. When I was 13, I would have said I was fine with the 33 yr-old who was re-exploiting me then. I would have sworn it was, as my abuser told me, my choice (in other words, my fault) for what was happening. The 33 yr-old re-exploiting me was my sda school principal.  

It took until my 30's for me to fully understand how nothing happening in my first 2 decades of life was healthy at all, that all those older predators were purposely targeting me and re-exploiting me and grooming me to blame myself for all of it, and lying to me about everything they were really doing and really thinking, like the fact that they were fucking other children. I did not know then that any older adult re-exploiting sexually abused youths is a predator. They had me believing it was perfectly fine for old men to fuck me. I had no agency at all. I was as brainwashed as any young person being raised by religious fanatics or by racists or by families who teach their kids to cook and sell meth.   

My childhood influenced my whole sex life. I am fine with everything I choose to do now. But I will never know what my natural sexuality might have been, if it had been left for me to discover on my own with my peers. Maybe I would still enjoy activities defined as kink. Maybe not. And as a woman who finally has true self-agency, no one else has a right to try and shame me for what I consensually do with other consenting adults, now. But it is very important to me that I do my best to speak out against allowing predatory older adults (in this patriarchy that is more often men) to keep getting away with sexually re-exploiting youths who have experienced sexualization and/or CSA. This predatory behavior does not heal young abuse survivors. I will never tell teens it is great if they are being sexually exploited by older predators. Those children have no agency, any more than a 17 yr-old drinking a margarita has any agency. That margarita drinker will say they are making their own mature choices. They do not understand what they are doing, or what the consequences will actually be. They do not realize that any adults who gave them access to alcohol are not being helpful, law-abiding, kind, safe or decent adults. Such adults are endangering children.

A child being brainwashed by white supremacist parents is not going to be a mature and knowledgeable teenager. A sexualized child is not going to be mature and knowledgeable, either, as a teen who is going to be targeted by sexual predators. 

In the midst of women understanding agency, and not being shamed for enjoying experiences defined as kink, I strongly feel we must never glamorize or excuse predators who are harming children and youth. We can be fine with kink, while still speaking out against those much older predators who have conned some underage survivor into thinking they are not being harmed. Children will continue experiencing CSA if we don't call out these predatory adults each and every time. Any youth who is defending a sexual predator who is re-exploiting them, is not exercising self-agency. They are a youth being sexually abused by an older predator.-----

Nothin' but death?

In the summer of 2002, I had my first glimpse of something true.  I wrote of this in my blog post, "Inconvenient Truth."  That was when I first started to realize that I had been born a child.  A real child.  Not some freakish slut-enfant, who caused my father to sexually abuse me.  This will be my TLDR attempt to better explain what I mean.

Up until that summer of '02, I vehemently knew that CSA was a horrendous crime, but I believed it was horrendous when it happened to other children, "real" children, not when it had happened to me.  I believed I had been born bad.  I don't know how to explain how it feels to have this belief.  It was a belief I internalized in my mind pre-cognizantly.  How do I explain the destructive thought processes created by having absorbed this belief before I was consciously aware of learning anything?  This belief was embedded in my brain before I knew what it was like to not have such a belief.  It was something I didn't know to even question.  It wasn't until July of 2002 that I started to realize I had been born a real human child.  I was 36 years-old when this first started to dawn on me.

Up until my 36th summer, I had no way at all to keep myself safe from predators like Marc Maron or my sda school principal.  I thought I was the one born bad.  I had no way to know that any adult who told me they knew how badly I had been hurt, when I hadn't said anything about my history, was someone who had spotted my symptoms from CSA, and were grooming me to see them as someone who had noticed the pain I carried, and wanted to "help" me.  As soon as they did that, I thought they really cared about me.  After all, they had taken the time to see the awful pain I tried to keep hidden.  I believed as long as I listened to this person, who had cared enough to see the unspoken pain in my soul, I would learn how to get better.  If I could do whatever kept this person happy and caring, they would help me no longer carry such horrible pain alone.  I just had to make sure I wasn't bad, which would cause them to leave me. The principal, the owners and bosses of places I worked, the parents of friends who bought me alcohol or pot when I was having a rough time, therapists, 12-step sponsors, doctors, neighbors, clergy, all easily conned and re-exploited me over and over.  And every time they were done with me, they blamed me for the CSA symptoms I had, said I was a bad person, called me crazy, and told me they never wanted to see me again.  That erroneous self-slut-blame core belief I carried was reaffirmed by all of this over and over, and that belief became more deeply embedded and solidified each time this happened.  This belief meant I couldn't keep myself safe.  But without exception, I was told by family and friends and society and the legal system that I had to once again go try to trust some new person, so I could stop having so many mental health issues, so I could quit being such a fucked up member of society.  So I would try yet again.  I was doing what I kept being told I needed to do.  And I had to keep trying.  I couldn't just give up.  I was doing my damnedest to raise three kids whom I didn't want to ever have to live life like me.  I had to fucking keep trying.

In July of 2002, I saw a news report about a child who had been taken from her yard in Southern California.  I heard someone say she had been taken by a person who told her he needed help to find a lost dog.  The cruelty of gaining access to a child by telling them about a ficticious lost dog made my heart hurt.  The pictures of that child, the sweet nickname her mother called her, the nightmare understanding of what that child was most likely going thru, made me feel physically ill, nearly panicky.  I did not function well that day, as I tried to get everything done.  I couldn't eat when I fed my kids.  As they watched Nick at Nite, my mind could not focus.  I was unable to sleep.  I remember how my stomach felt, as a sheriff's deputy held a news conference the next day.  He seemed to be shedding tears at one point.  He told reporters Samantha Runnion had been found, dead.  

As that emotional deputy said those words, my mind went into a sort of shutdown.  I kept picturing the photo of Samantha, with her cat, that had been shown at some point during the coverage.  My mind was trying to tell me something.  I could not let myself hear it.  For about a week, I was in a very disconnected state.  I would almost let myself see what my mind had glimpsed. But I couldn't reconcile it with my core beliefs about me.  In the end, I took that never-fully-acknowledged thought, and kept it at arm's length in the back of my mind.  I knew what the thought was.  I just couldn't make myself admit it was true. It would take over a decade for me to fully be able to accept, and express that truth I began to understand in 2002. And it wasn't until this year that I finally wrote that truth out loud.

Every decent human who heard about Samantha Runnion's abduction, assault, and murder, knew that she was a child who had been destroyed by a monstrous adult.  An innocent child had been horrendously assaulted and murdered by a man who had definable evil in his heart.  There was no gray area in this fucked up inhumane and absolutely depraved event.  On that day, in 2002, every decent human who heard this news story knew exactly who was to blame, and who wasn't. 

So, why in the fuck did part of my mind feel a sense of relief for that little girl, when that deputy had said she was dead?  What made me have such a horrible feeling?  Why was part of my mind thankful to know that at least Samantha would never be conned in a few years by some trusted school principal or therapist, be made to think they cared about her and wanted to help her heal from having been so harmed when she was five, just to have that trusted adult re-exploit her and leave her wishing she was dead?  Why was I relieved for that little girl's sake?  Mantha Ray Runnion would never have to experience being re-exploited by every predator who would have done exactly that to her, if she had lived.  She wouldn't have to know that a horrendous crime committed against her is viewed as an acceptable aphrodisiac for adult men in this patriarchy. 

Samantha Runnion's story happened publicly.  My mind was realizing that if she had lived, Samantha would have been viewed by predators, including Marc Maron, as somebody they could target and groom and get to know,  re-exploit at will, and then blame when they were done with her.  And those same decent people who knew she had been an innocent child in 2002, would be the same ones who believed she was to blame for what predators like Maron would've done to her. This meant my mind had to face, and accept, that even though Samantha Runnion was blameless for what happened to her, decent people were going to blame her for the very symptoms she would experience, because of what happened.  Thru no fault of her own, she would have been viewed as a girl who could be re-exploited and left in even worse condition, the same way every one of Maron's victims gets left:  taking the blame for being sexually re-exploited by much older adult predators. 

 

Seeing this truth started eroding the core belief I carried since I was a toddler.  I had not been born a slut.  My legs having to be in a splint due to a birth defect was not me being "seductive."  I did not make my father sexually exploit me.  I was as blameless as Samantha Runnion.  All sexually exploited children are as blameless as Samantha Runnion. And all of them are going to experience symptoms that will leave them vulnerable to predators like Marc Maron.  They do not cause decent humans to sexually exploit them. Adults who re-exploit sexualized children are the ones to blame.  They are sexual predators.  

Every single adult who allows older predators to re-exploit survivors of childhood sexualization, is as culpable as the predators are, for the further destruction of young survivors.  Samantha Runnion would be blamed today, by Maron and his friends and fans and a society who defend Maron's predatory behavior, if she had lived and Maron had interviewed her alone in his garage, and she had responded to his grooming.  Allowing an older man to re-exploit damaged young girls for over 3 decades is indefensible. This is a man who has spoken often about purposely grooming teen girls who have been sexually abused.  Underage girls are blamed when they respond to this man's grooming.  Little girls see him in their classrooms each November, reading a book aimed at them.  Children view this man as a safe character from a kids' movie.  Their teachers, their parents, everyone in society is letting children see this man as a safe person.  Maron wants to sexually exploit teen girls, and has bragged about it for decades.  He grooms sexually exploited girls, draws them in, gets close to them, then says they are obsessed with him, and that he is compelled to fuck them.  He has claimed he cannot control the sexual urge he has to fuck these damaged girls, to sexually exploit girls with mental health issues, girls at risk of suicide, girls now young enough to be his granddaughters. 

When predators are able to convince children they were born wanting to be sexually exploited, it becomes part of their belief system, just like anything else being taught to kids. The only reason society is unable to allow Marc Maron to sexually re-exploit Samantha Runnion, a child abducted and sexually assaulted when she was 5 and Maron was 38, is because that child was murdered.  How long do sexually exploited children have to die, as the only way to escape sexual re-exploitation?

Inconvenient Truth