No kinda man

 A 59 yr-old man who fucks teen girls, damaged girls who cut themselves and abuse alcohol and drugs and want to kill themselves because they have experienced sexual trauma, is a predator.  A member of AA, who sponsors damaged girls who end up in recovery, is a predator.   No damaged child knows that this comedian, who voices characters in animated movies, is a danger, because no one is telling children he is a predator. 

A girl with a gun, who last week tried to confront Maron about how many other girls in recovery he has actually been fucking, is starting to realize he has been lying to her all along.  He told her she was the only one.  That she was special.  This girl, who was 12 when Maron's Thanksgiving book reading first came out introducing children like her to this adult as if he was safe, is going to be experiencing hell because no one is telling children that this man is a predator.   She believed his lies.  He manipulated her damaged mind with those lies.  And now this girl knows he is a beloved celebrity who is being seen as an ally for feminism.   Do you realize what that is saying to her?  What it says to her about her place anywhere in this world? 

No wonder I grew up believing feminism never included me.  It didn't.  With allies like Maron, I guess it's no big loss.  I know where I belonged.  This girl is learning that same lesson right now.

Children are watching

 When I first went online in 2001, it was very jarring to be interacting with friends from my school days, and suddenly see the sda principal who groomed and sexually re-exploited me when I was thirteen, pop up in a reply to one of my old friends. His page was more than just jarring.  He belonged to a group for teen girls who had been sexually molested.  Nobody gave a shit about me in that gd church, or any of the other girls that man groomed and exploited, and bcuz they didn't stop him, he continues to groom and re-exploit sexually molested girls, to this day.

Marc Maron flashed a girl on the set of Delores Roach a year ago.  Since August of 2020, he has groomed, lied to, sponsored in recovery, and re-exploited girls with specific abuse issues, and serious mental health damage created by childhood sexual trauma.  Five such girls that I am aware of.  He has been doing this for over thirty years.  Publicly.

When, when will children who go thru hell, stop being funneled into the recycling bin for predatory old men to reuse and throw away.  Maron is a flasher, who used a movie about feminism to once again bring attention to the male crotch.  Publicly.

Nobody gives a shit about sexually molested children, or the lives they are forced to live, because predators like Marc Maron are allowed to fuck these girl's minds up.  Little girls being molested right now, are seeing a flashing predator as a feminist ally.  He will be fucking some of these children the minute they are legal.  

What in the fuck is wrong with everyone?  We aren't fucking throwaway kids.  Our childhood nightmares should NOT be simply making us into sex toys for old predators.  JFC.

The view from the girl with BPD and a gun

She is watching.  Listening.  Learning.  Seeing the spotlight land on Maron, as he uses the plight of women to bring everything back around to a pissing contest.  Mansplaining at its finest.  All of his victims are watching. His shadow cast behind him hides them all, hides her.  Blots out the mind and heart breaking because of the damage he is doing to her.  She isn't a blip on anyone's radar.  For her, feminism is now her predator making it all about male crotches, being heralded as some sort of hero for a cause she doesn't even realize she should be part of.  

Hey, up for a challenge?

Pop quiz, Grooming 101

I have a little challenge, for those who would like to learn how to spot grooming.  This test isn't as hard as you might think.  I'm betting quite a few of you can ace this quiz, once you know what to watch for.

Marc Maron created a narrative, years ago, surrounding his interactions with one of his many younger fan hookups, a girl with whom he had a public relationship and eventual breakup.  Maron painted her as the aggressor.  He sexualized her mental illness from the stage. He publicly said she started everything by sending him naked pics of herself.  He made himself out to be the victim of this younger girl with BPD.  But that isn't altogether true. Their very first interaction was at a booksigning for him.  His words and behavior at that first interaction were examples of the initial groundwork he always subtly uses to draw in young girls with mental illness caused by childhood sexual trauma.  That young fan would never have sent him any pics, if he had not planted such an idea in her mind at their actual first meeting.  That is a textbook example of what grooming looks like.  Maron plants an idea in the minds of young girls suffering from serious issues, issues he knows he can later use to lay all of the blame on them.   His grooming, like forms of gaslighting and dogwhistling, is subtle enough for his plausible deniability later on when the girl is in crisis. 

Maron has been dropping hints for the last few months now, regarding a specific topic he desperately wants to have make its rounds through his current ranks of young new fans.  I am betting quite a number of observant folks out there will be capable of pinpointing this current attempt from Maron to guide his prey into doing his bidding, now that I have mentioned this specific grooming behavior has been happening since this past winter.  I will give one last hint, for anyone feeling up to the challenge of identifying Maron's current grooming attempts:  Maron actively grooms young damaged girls from every means and platform he uses to interact with the public.

Good luck, test takers.  Oh, btw, there is a prize for each one who gives the correct answer:  you will have found the ability to spot predators, wherever and whenever they are grooming potential victims.  That ability is rare, and sometimes life-saving.

Edited to add:  Yes, extra credit will be given to anyone who spots current grooming attempts I might have missed, and an automatic A+ (are lettered grades even a thing anymore?) will be awarded to anyone who takes the time to search through all of Maron's online history and spots old grooming attempts. 

An update:  I am surprised to have received a number of correct responses!  It gives me hope that maybe someday, girls like I was might be protected from predators, instead of blamed for their behavior.

This contest does not expire.  Everyone is welcome to play.  Anyone who finds it important enough to try, is already a winner in my book.  Thank you.

Cave of pain

The pain of having to realize how a much older trusted adult, an adult who knows how badly one has been traumatized by CSA, was simply acting caring and concerned just to get off on that past abuse, is awful pain.  When one has to realize that such a trusted older adult has been doing this for decades and knows well how it leaves suicidal broken victims much worse off, yet chose to do it once again anyway, that realization is soul killing.  The final abandonment that older adult knew all along was coming, creates mental torture beyond description in the mind of such a victim.  The crisis building inside one of Marc Maron's most recent victims is an emotional pain I know well.  Those who don't understand that pain, who can brush it aside and diminish it and even laugh about how such pain manifests itself through that victim, are taking part in a cruelty that leaves such a victim longing for death.  I can't brush such pain aside, or blame the victim who is experiencing such anguish.  I know that pain too well to ever diminish or deny it.

When I was 17, I had to realize something so painful, 40 years later it is making my chest ache to write about it. I still have not fully processed what happened inside my mind that day.  

The adventist principal, who met and started grooming me for sexual re-exploitation at 13, had moved on to other sexually abused children under his care. Another girl he had abused before me had just tried to kill herself while away at an sda boarding academy, and I had just found out about her suicide attempt. I decided to confront the adventist principal, because he told me all along he had never done anything sexual with any other student in all his years of teaching. When I confronted him, he didn't know I was questioning him because I heard about the suicidal girl away at academy. Another older victim had, unbeknownst to me, recently started talking about being SA'd by this principal, so the principal's response to my question was, "Have you been talking to -redacted name-?" As his question sank in, as I realized what his words meant, my mind flashed back on moments I had seen him interact with both of these older girls over the last 4 years. It was like a huge giant swung a massive club down onto my head, in extremely slow motion. I felt the truth enter the top of my skull, and start to sink into and through the many layers of my abusively malformed brain, a millimeter at a time.  

I regained awareness of space and time to discover I was walking through the desert area outside of Pasco city limits. The sun was to my left, hovering around mid-afternoon. Interstate 182 was in early development, then, and the desert area I found myself wandering was littered with sections of giant concrete pipe, waiting to become part of the planned sewer system that today lies under that Interstate. I was numb. My chest was tight, constricted and aching, as it is right now as I type.  I couldn't feel my legs, I couldn't think linearly at all. I walked up to one of those huge concrete structures, entered it, and dropped down in the blown sand and grit gathered along the bottom of that pipe. My mind experienced some of the most disjointed and painful veiled glimpses of reality that I had ever gone through. I could not conceive what all had happened. It was far beyond my grasp. The principal of the school I had attended, an adult loved and trusted by everyone in my church, had lied to me. For 4 years, he lied to me. And fucked me. I had trusted his words. My mind kept replaying his silken, comforting whispers, his compassionate reassurances, always followed by him using me in some fashion to get off. My father and pam and the men pam handed me to, the principal had been doing the same thing to me. That was what was always going to happen. That was it, my life. All of it, everything, for that gluey substance that once smelled a bit like ajax to me as a child, when it suffocated and clogged up my throat, or burned bubbling into my nasal passages, or dried on my cheeks and neck and hands and chest and stomach, and the inside of my legs, where it occasionally took on the added smell of pennies because blood dried with it. That was it. That was all. That was everything. 

My shadow tried to crawl away from me along the wall of that concrete cave, as the sun sank toward Rattlesnake Mountain. Orange flaming streaks painted the concrete walls, as wind stirred the dirt on that concrete floor. It was getting colder. I slowly stood up, and my feet and legs surprised me by moving, carrying me out of that cave of horrors. 

I made my way home. No one was there.

Juvenilia

Today, Maron's post on Tiktok has more of his words claiming to be a knowing, concerned ally to women.  If women really knew the harm he purposely causes sexually abused girls, he would not be viewed that way.  

Today he may have been posting as a feminist ally, but yesterday afternoon, he lied to a very young victim of his, a girl in recovery, a girl with BPD from childhood sexualization, a girl with suicidal ideation and a gun.  She is just starting to realize he has used other girls before, has done it many times.  She is starting to see that Maron targeted and groomed her, exploited her childhood sexual trauma, abandoned her when he was done, and ignored her pain-filled posts on his Instagram feed, begging him to hear her, telling him she loved him.  The only reason he reconnected with her was because of my post here on April 26.  He does not want his predatory behavior to come to light.  He has relied on the fact that nobody cares when sexualized children get re-exploited, to continue fucking broken girls in recovery.  Maron did not care about the lifelong pain felt by this damaged girl, pain that is always made much worse everytime he re-exploits these very young girls with BPD.  The suicidal ideation and the gun in this girl's Instagram pics did not matter to Maron.  He ignored her cries for help right there in the comment section of his IG Lives and reels.  

I posted here about Maron, on April 26, because of this damaged girl. Maron was, and still is, scrambling to cover what he did to this girl.  This girl is starting to understand what Maron did to her, and how many other girls he has done this to.  She will be experiencing more crises as Maron keeps lying to her.  This girl needs very real help.  

Maron needs to be called out for behavior that risks the lives of these girls.  He needs to stop making the minds of damaged little girls worse.  He may be seen as an ally to women but he is a predator to sexually abused little girls with mental illness.  He is not an ally to any girl from my group.

Forgotten

 In the late '90's, I often received brochures and newsletters from Amnesty International, a group I respect.  Once in awhile, they would include these small cards, with the words, "Do not be discouraged.  You are not forgotten," written inside in a number of different languages.  There was a space inside that card for supporters to sign, and send back, so those cards might be delivered by Amnesty International to persons being unlawfully detained, harmed, tortured, or experiencing other inhumane treatment.  Each time I signed one of those cards, I would hold it close to my heart, and say a silent prayer that it might reach someone in an awful place, and maybe bring some comfort.

Once, during 3 years with yet another unethical therapist who left me much worse off when they were done with me, I got one of these cards to sign.  In therapy I had been trying to let myself feel some sort of kindness toward the child I had once been.  I carried a lot of hatred and disgust for that child.  I felt like that child was a sick, weak, piece of shit.  I felt that child must have been born bad, and deserved every bad thing she went through.  A father wouldn't hurt a good daughter.  A principal wouldn't fuck a good student.  A church wouldn't blame a good teenager.  Nobody would abandon a good person.  I hated pictures of me as a child.  I hated everything about that child I had been.  So, as I opened the newsletter from Amnesty International, and that little card I could sign fell out, it shocked me when I suddenly realized, I needed to sign that card for the child I once was.  She needed to know she was not forgotten.  She had quietly suffered, for years, all alone.

I signed the card, rolled it up, placed it in a small medicine bag along with a set of tiny homemade rune stones I found and painted, and some little momentos of things that the child I once was had liked.  Beads with insects painted on them, feathers from birds, cat fur, a guitar pin, all things I enjoyed when I was little, during those long years of pain and terror.  

At 57, I no longer despise the child I once was.  I grew up fucked up, but it wasn't her fault.  She did her best.  I was unable to get things right, though, and my failures mean I am still easy prey, still leavable, and those closest to me still have no problem walking the fuck away.  They never tell me why.  Obviously I fucked up everything my whole damn life, no matter how much I tried, and don't deserve the decency afforded to others who try to learn and grow.  But none of this was that child's fault.  She was not to blame.

In trying to communicate with girls like I was, back when I was in my teens and 20's and 30's, girls who went thru hell as children, and are now being re-exploited by Marc Maron, I don't know what to say.  There is nothing I can think of to say to them now, to explain all of this to them.  I try to conjure words I could have taken in when I was their age, concepts that me back then might have been capable of understanding.  Not one goddam thing comes to mind.  I have tried to come up with anything I can think of that might have helped me back then.  Maybe if I could've warned my 25 yr-old self that her newborn was one day going to cut me out completely if she didn't figure out how to do better quicker.  Maybe I could have avoided some of the worst pain I carry now, if I could have reached me 32 years ago.  Then I realize I already knew I was shit, back then.  I was already under daily pressure trying so fucking hard to figure out wtf I was supposed to do, trying so hard to get everything right.  The only attention I got back then came from men like Maron.  Everyone else saw me as shit.  But the men like Maron?  They saw me as shit they could fuck.  Yeah, there is nothing I could have told myself back then.  When sexualized children end up tossed into that cycle of re-exploitation by Maron and predators like him, it isn't the girls who are capable of fixing that mess.  Those damaged girls are not at fault.  The much older, and very aware, predators have to be stopped, to stop this awful cycle.  It isn't the girls who can stop any of it.

I sat down on my couch, today, while realizing the futility of trying to come up with words to reach damaged girls like I was at 16, or 21, or 28, or 33.  My eyes happened to land on the wooden cross above my door, and there was the medicine bag, holding the Amnesty International note that I once signed for the child I had been.   I took the bag down, untied leather strands closed back in '99, took out the small scrolled note, opened it, and touched the signature from over 2 decades ago.  That 33 yr-old who signed that note for the child we once were, does not deserve my anger or hatred or disgust, any more than that child did.  I was fucking trying.  And I was being devoured by wolves, by predators like Marc Maron, while society looked on and blamed me.  

What can I say, to girls Maron and those like him are destroying right now?  Not much.  I can leave these words, in this blog, and hope these girls and others like them run across these words, so they can maybe take some of that blame and self-hatred they carry and place it where it belongs.  And maybe others in this society, in this world, can see the truth about what happens to sexualized children as they grow up.   Maybe this group I belong to can one day be seen as worthy of respect, as deserving of protection from society's wolves.

These pictures below are for every girl who has been victimized by Marc Maron.  You are not forgotten.

And maybe it's time for me to look at that note, and tell 33 yr-old me she is not forgotten, either.

Story behind the wooden cross:  Cross

Repost Reminder

 Reposting a reminder.  My reason for posting these is the same reason it has been since April 26, 2023.  That will not change.  When Mr. Maron is no longer choosing to be a predator toward young girls with mental health issues caused by child sexualization and abuse, these blog posts will stop.  Until then, I will not stop speaking out.

SATURDAY, APRIL 29, 2023

Please Don't Forget

 Anyone reading this blog, please, don't ever let yourself forget why I am posting these. There is a very young broken victim of Marc Maron's who has many posts about suicidal ideation, and a post with a gun in her possession. Mr. Maron has finally, within the last few hours, made it so I can no longer tag him on Twitter. He is very aware of what I am doing. He won't call authorities, because he can't risk what they might find. He wants to ignore these posts. That's how little he cares for the life of a broken girl he used. He is not going to address any of this.  

In one of my first emails to wtfpod, I told him he was gonna find out just how relentless a girl with "daddy issues" can be. I will never stop thinking about the bitten nails in their photos. I will never ignore the broken girl with a gun.

Judy S. Lentz at 1:37 AM

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Grown up

Marc Maron's words from today's WTF bonus episode, speaking on the immaturity of those in their 20's, how rewatching Dog Day Afternoon as a 59 yr-old was so different:

"You gotta watch things as a grown up."

"There's no way, when you're 20 or whatever...You just have to watch things as a grown up... Your emotional spectrum has expanded to a point that it's fully formed."

Those teen girls Maron grooms, those sexualized girls twenty or thirty or forty years younger than himself that he draws in and "bonds" with and sponsors, those damaged little girls he tells lies to for sexual gratification, are NOT fully grown self-possessed women.  They are not aware how many of them he is exploiting at the same time.   They are not aware of how much worse he will leave them.  They are not aware of any of this.  And he damn well knows it.

Rape is an integral part of conquering citizens in war.  A strategic weapon in every hostile takeover.  Always has been.  Sexual assault is a specific kind of crime that destroys a person's sense of self, in a way no other assault or crime can do.  It obliterates the victim's ability to safely interact with anyone around them.  It can break well-adjusted adults who have experienced a decent start in life.  When a child experiences sexual assault/exploitation, their fundamental sense of self is destroyed.  Child sexualization does not make a child into a mature person who "knows what is up."  It specifically has the opposite effect.  Predator males in a patriarchy know this, which is why old men perpetrate such re-exploitation of those very sexually abused girls.

The things that others could do to me, say about me, convince me were normal, when I was 13, or 23, or 33, were horrendously damaging to me.  I knew nothing else.  I never had a chance to learn or experience anything else.  I did not start developing any sort of agency at all, until I was in my 40's and a member of SLAA took the time to speak the truth for me.  That was how old I had to be, to finally start to fully form the idea that everything I had experienced in my daily interactions with the much older men who lied to me so they could re-exploit me, was NOT the way I should ever be treated.  

Childhood sexualization does NOT make a child more mature.  It does the opposite. 

The number of times Mr. Maron speaks of how immature and undeveloped he was in his 20's and 30's, is easily verifiable, by his own words.  Countless times he has spoken of this.  The truth about how unknowing and undeveloped and immature humans are who are much younger than he is now.  He speaks of this truth continuously.   Whenever he tries to place blame on the stunted little damaged girls he lies to and leaves even more damaged, with even worse symptoms of mental illnesses like BPD, his own fucking words about these age groups he grooms and fucks makes it clear he knows his words excusing his predatory behavior are full of shit.  He has NO business sponsoring or befriending any young female victims of CSA.  It is not normal or healthy for any of the little damaged girls he preys on to be interacting with him at all.  They are not fully formed grown ups.  What he does to them makes them worse off, leaves them less able to ever get better.  The fact that adults around him, even other members of AA, allow him to say and do these things to mentally damaged, emotionally malformed little girls, girls already starting life with horrible strikes against them, is complicitly allowing these vulnerable naive damaged girls to be further harmed.

SLAA

Marc Maron knows 12-step.   He has used AA to re-exploit young girls entering recovery.  He has been publicly targeting teen girls who were sexually abused as children and have a specific mental illness.  He, at least once, indecently exposed his genitals on the set of a show he worked on last summer. He is a sexual predator who endangers young CSA victims who have BPD.  He is not going to overcome his predatory behavior if he does not work a program of some kind.  

He needs to work out his sexual issues in a closed, men-only SLAA group, and/or with a therapist.  The last place he needs to work out these issues is from the stage, or in mixed 12-step meetings, both places where he has been grooming broken girls for the last 3 decades.   He himself has claimed he "cannot say no to these lunatic" damaged girls he grooms, fucks, and leaves much worse off.  And flashers never get better by talking about their sexual abusiveness to crowds they are used to grooming.  He will continue receiving pictures from his growing fanbase of underage girls, he will continue leaving very young girls with BPD suicidal after he is done with them, even when he knows they have access to guns and are publicly begging him not to rip them mentally to shreds by abandoning them.  He will not stop being a predator until he has to face the truth and works the program.  That is the truth.  He knows it.  Every honest person in SLAA knows it.  Every decent parent with a cis female child who has been molested and is exhibiting signs of BPD knows it, every Intimacy Coordinator in the entertainment industry knows it. 

If he continues to manipulate everything and everyone around him to let him keep flashing girls and destroying young damaged minds, he is behaving as a narcissistic predator, and everyone allowing this to happen is enabling that predator to endanger mentally ill victims of child sexual abuse.