Recovering

 Sexual abuse of children has been around for as long as there have been humans.  When my maternal grandmother was little, CSA was not an abuse that received public attention.   It was not "polite," to discuss this subject in any manner.  Freud did start to grasp the pervasive nature of CSA, but the vehemence of patriarchal societies in denying this truth made Freud backtrack his own discoveries, and once again lay blame on children.  

My maternal grandmother exhibited many signs of having experienced CSA.  Others in her generation of that family exhibited some of those same symptoms. My father's generation in that family did experience CSA, and one uncle in particular was known to be sexually abusing the children he had access to.  This was known because in-laws would whisper this information to other in-laws, in an attempt to try and protect children in the family.  The blood family members still weren't willing or able to discuss this subject, though.  This left yet another generation of that family at-risk.  Fundamental religious beliefs had a further silencing effect, as the patriarchal beliefs let men off the hook, and placed blame on the sexialized children.  

My mom's family had their own generational issues to deal with, but CSA was not part of those issues.  As a nurse, my mom and her medical peers were finally being taught about CSA, as society was starting to wake up to the fact that children were being sexually exploited in great numbers, and this type of abuse needed to be addressed.   My mom's generation still viewed CSA as something done by strangers, something that happened nefariously, something that took place "over there" somewhere, in other families, other homes, other churches, other schools, other countries.  No person who truly cared about children could comprehend such abuse being perpetrated by other decent people in their neighborhoods or families.  The inability to conceive of committing certain crimes is the biggest reason those most atrocious of crimes can blatantly occur unchecked.  

By the time I was being groomed and sexually re-exploited by the SDA school principal, CSA was finally receiving a bit more public attention.  After-school specials, advice columnists, books, articles in medical journals and popular magazines, national news stories, and many of those in counseling professions, were shining more light on the sexual abuses so many children were being forced to experience.  As is always the case, predators were right in the thick of this increased awareness, changing their modus operandi in order to continue their easy access to children.  Predators "recover-up" their sexual exploitation of survivors by manipulating the very symptoms of CSA to yet again place blame on the damaged young survivors.  Every step forward in trying to lessen the sexual abuse of children, is manipulated by predators to make such abuse continue unchecked.

I was hopeful that by the time my kids had offspring, CSA would be a crime on the decline.  The opposite has happened.   It is discussed more in public, and recognized as a prevalent issue many children face, but systemic internalized patriarchal misogyny means more older predators and more therapist-type "helpers" are free to use the known signs and symptoms of CSA to groom and re-exploit and blame the very survivors that are most in need of help.  The way CSA survivors react to sexual abuse, is being used to manipulate other adults into seeing these survivors as "wanting" to be further sexually exploited.  Once again, this is the only childhood abuse that can be publicly "rationalized" in such a manner.  

A child illegally introduced to alcohol as a toddler, who develops a serious substance abuse problem by their early teen years, is never exposed to legitimate treatment that includes giving them more and more alcohol, even if that child wants to keep drinking.  Adults who try and keep giving alcohol to such a child are seen as abusive adults who are harming a damaged young person.  Society recognizes that such a young person is not old enough to understand any of the physical and mental and emotional consequences of alcoholism.  Adults abusively exposed that child to harmful behavior in the first place, and the only way to help such a child is to stop other adults from continuing to harm that child by contributing to more of that behavior.  Even if this child is physically dependent on alcohol, legitimate treatment will never include sending this child to the home of an adult known to supply children with alcohol on a regular basis.  Such an idea would be viewed as preposterous. 

Recovery is no different for a child who experiences CSA.  Predators will never be legitimate "helpers" for CSA survivors.  My SDA principal will never be a safe human who can help any sexually exploited girl.  And neither will Marc Maron.